God, Anger, and Savage Love
After reading an article by Dan Savage in response to an angry Christian mother (L.R.), I was flooded with questions. When is anger appropriate? What is God’s role? More importantly, when should God be used as a weapon? After all, so many wars are started in the name of god, gods, or God. Is this what (G/g)od(s) intended?
The most interesting part of the article is that both parties made me question where I stand. Before I continue, I invite you to read the article and form an opinion for yourself:
Being the linear person I am, I’d like to start at the very beginning (it’s a very good place to start. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself) and work my way through it.
* * * * *
I have to admit, I see L.R.’s point. Who is Dan to blame Christians for the bullying of young homosexuals? If Christians are not allowed to “judge people based on their sexual preference, how [does he] justify judging entire groups of people for any other reason (including their faith)?” The hypocrisy is pretty apparent.
L.R. goes on to point out that she does not and would never “encourage [her] children to mock, hurt, or intimidate another person for any reason.” Hmm . . . let’s get back to this point in a bit, shall we?
In response to L.R.‘s frustration, Dan starts with this remark:
I’m sorry your feelings were hurt by my comments.
No, wait. I’m not [. . .] Fuck your feelings
Ouch. Is this approach really the best one? What does sarcasm and anger really do here? In the first three lines of his response, Dan powers up his followers while losing the attention of this woman and many others like her. I’m not suggesting he tip-toe around the issue, but it makes me wonder what his intention is.
If you continue to read the article, Dan raises some interesting questions:
Do you ‘support’ atheist marriage? Divorce and remarriage? All are legal, all go against Christian and/or traditional ideas
about marriage, and yet there’s no ‘Christian’ movement to deny marriage rights to atheists or people marrying outside their respective faiths or people divorcing and remarrying. Why the hell not?
Honestly, I have never thought about that, and I find myself growing more angry at the bigoted nature and hypocrisy of our society.
The next paragraph is full of anger, and justified anger at that. While this woman claims she does not promote hatred or bullying to her children toward homosexuals, Dan states the following:
The kids of people who see gay people as sinful or damaged or disordered and unworthy of full civil equality—even if those people strive to express their bigotry in the politest possible way (at least when they happen to be addressing a gay person)—learn to see gay people as sinful, damaged, disordered, and unworthy. And while there may not be any gay adults or couples where you live, or at your church, or in your workplace, I promise you that there are gay and lesbian children in your schools. And while you can only attack gays and lesbians at the ballot box, nice and impersonally, your children have the option of attacking actual gays and lesbians, in person, in real time.
Therefore, being passive and ignoring the deathly problem at hand is actually actively promoting the perpetual hate driven toward homosexual children. And we wonder why, according to one study, “about 20 percent of LGB teens attempted suicide in the 12 months before the survey, while only about 4 percent of heterosexual teens had.” Even worse, this paragraph made my heart ache for those homosexual children who have parents like L.R. What if L.R.’s beloved children are gay?
Dan continues with the following:
The dehumanizing bigotries that fall from the lips of “faithful Christians,” and the lies about us that vomit out from the pulpits of churches that “faithful Christians” drag their kids to on Sundays, give your children license to verbally abuse, humiliate, and condemn the gay children they encounter at school. And many of your children - having listened to Mom and Dad talk about how gay marriage is a threat to family and how gay sex makes their magic sky friend Jesus cry - feel justified in physically abusing the LGBT children they encounter in their schools. You don’t have to explicitly encourage [your] children to mock, hurt, or intimidate” queer kids. Your encouragement - along with your hatred and fear - is implicit. It’s here, it’s clear, and we’re seeing the fruits of it: dead children.
Pretty strong words, and I agree with the main point, but why does he mock the overall Christian faith? This paragraph would make just about anyone question their narrow-minded beliefs; that is, until Dan mentions “their magical sky friend Jesus.” Wouldn’t he reach more people if he stayed respectful to the views of others, no matter how absurd they might seem to him?
I close by turning to those wiser than I . . .
The Bible
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
The Qur’an
God does not forbid you to be kind and equitable to those who have neither fought against your faith nor driven you out of your homes. In fact God loves the equitable - Chapter 60, Verse 8
The Book of Mormon
But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another and to serve one another. - Mosiah 4:15
The Torah
The Torah
Love your neighbor as yourself - Leviticus 19:18
Grey’s Anatomy (No, I do not consider this a religion, although many might):
So what’s the message? Where do we go from here? Hopefully we can all agree to love. That’s it, just love. Love the gays. Love the Christians. Love the (wait for it) Gay Christians (and yes, they do exist). Love the Dan Savages. Love the L.R.‘s. You get the idea.
I will be the first to admit how challenging loving someone can be. How can I love someone who condemns me and all I believe in? In college, I used to vent to the Knox College Choir director, Laura Lane. I can’t tell you how many times I used (and admittedly still use) sarcasm or hateful words as a weapon. Each time I threw around the word “hate,” Laura would take a deep breath and say, “Eric, it’s not that you hate. It’s just that some people are harder to love than others.” Interesting how a shift from a negative view to a positive one can make all the difference in the world.
Let me reiterate my point: LOVE. Above and before anything else, love with words, intentions, and actions. Based on the words from the wisest, I’m pretty sure (G/g)od(s) would agree.
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