Monday, July 2, 2012

Mis Demonios



I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn



Lately I’ve been struggling with anger and resentment towards demons of my past.  During my run in Kansas City this afternoon, I stumbled upon Florence + The Machine's "Shake it Out."  After listening to it about nine times, I was encouraged to purge myself of the judgement, darkness and bigotry that derives from the “I love you, BUT,” or the “I love you IF,” or my personal favorite, the “I love you.  NOW CHANGE” mentality of narrow-minded “do-gooder” individuals.

To free myself of society's expectations, and in my case, my past, which includes the opinions of others, is an unbelievably liberating experience.  To pass through the fearful gate and become my own self is an excruciating process, but a liberating one.  To suffer, hope, love, want, and be wanted.  That's where I am.  It's a very real process that I hope to continue well into my 90's.  I thank God for meeting me in the darkness and for the chance to experience God's creation the way God intended. 

And given half the chance,would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance, but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn
. . .
And I'm ready to suffer
And I'm ready to hope
. . .
It's always darkest before the dawn







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